Ah, the great pickleball soft play debate—one of those topics that can divide a court faster than a questionable kitchen violation. Some players think easing up on a weaker opponent is the polite thing to do. Others feel like it’s the sports equivalent of being handed a participation trophy.
So, what’s the right move? Should you take it easy on lower-level players or go full send every time?
Wait, What Exactly Is Soft Playing?
Soft playing (aka playing down) is when a stronger player intentionally eases up in a match. Maybe they stop using their strongest shots, slow down their serves, or avoid smashing overheads. Sometimes it’s subtle, like focusing on placement over power. Other times, it’s painfully obvious—think exaggerated mistakes, goofy trick shots, or smirking while lobbing the ball back like a toddler’s playtime.
And that’s where things get tricky.
Done right, soft playing can make the game more enjoyable for everyone. Done wrong, it can feel like you’re being mocked rather than challenged.
Why Do People Soft Play?
Soft playing isn’t always about disrespect. In fact, many advanced players do it with good intentions. Here’s why:
1. They Want to Keep the Game Fun
Most people don’t enjoy getting obliterated 11-0. If a high-level player goes full beast mode on a 3.0, it can be over in minutes. By easing up, they make it more competitive and engaging.
2. They’re Trying to Work on Their Soft Game
For advanced players, rec play is a chance to refine their dinks, drops, and resets—skills that are crucial at higher levels. So instead of drilling serves at your feet, they’re focusing on placement and consistency.
3. They Want More Court Time
Nobody wants to wait 20 minutes for a game only to destroy their opponents in five. By slowing things down, players get to play longer instead of heading straight back to the bench.
4. They’re Just Being Respectful
Some players believe it’s poor sportsmanship to pickle weaker opponents (win 11-0). Instead, they’ll let rallies go longer and keep the game flowing so that everyone has a chance to hit the ball.
Why Some Players Hate Being Soft Played
Not everyone appreciates their opponent taking it easy on them. Here’s why:
1. It Feels Patronizing
There’s a fine line between helping someone improve and treating them like a child. Nobody wants to feel like their opponent is giving them pity points.
2. It Slows Down Improvement
You don’t get better by playing against opponents who are holding back. Many players would rather be schooled at full speed than spoon-fed easy shots.
3. It Can Kill Competitive Integrity
Some people just love the battle—even if they’re outmatched. They’d rather lose a hard-fought match than feel like their opponent is going easy on them.
4. It’s Annoying When Done with Poor Sportsmanship
There’s a difference between playing softer and playing like a clown. Trick shots, exaggerated mistakes, or laughing at weaker opponents? That’s where soft play crosses the line into straight-up disrespect.
How to Handle Soft Play—From Both Sides
So, what’s the best approach? If you’re the better player, how do you balance not obliterating your opponent with not insulting them? And if you’re on the receiving end, how do you make sure you still get a good game?
If You’re the Stronger Player
- Play Strategically, Not Lazily – Instead of smashing every shot, challenge yourself with ball placement, dinking battles, and resets. Make them work for their points without just handing them free winners.
- Avoid Obvious Mistakes – Nothing is more frustrating than an opponent who’s clearly missing shots on purpose. Keep it natural.
- Be Aware of Their Skill Level – Some 3.0s want the heat, others just want to have fun. If in doubt, ask.
- Don’t Goof Off – Smirking, hitting trick shots, or chatting mid-point? Yeah, don’t do that. It’s not “soft playing,” it’s just being a jerk.
- Adjust Based on the Match – If they’re handling your soft game, step it up. If they’re struggling, keep rallies going without overpowering them.
If You’re the Weaker Player
- Speak Up! – If you want them to play at full strength, let them know! A simple, “Hey, I’d love to see your best game—bring it on!” can go a long way.
- Use It as a Learning Experience – Even if they’re not crushing you, pay attention to their shot placement and movement. It’s a chance to see high-level strategy in action.
- Don’t Take It Personally – Sometimes, soft playing isn’t about you—it’s just how they approach rec games. Don’t let it get in your head.
- Challenge Yourself in Other Ways – If they’re dinking, try to out-dink them. If they’re focusing on resets, work on hitting deeper, controlled shots.
Finding the Sweet Spot: A Balanced Approach
At the end of the day, there’s no universal right or wrong when it comes to soft playing. It all depends on context, opponents, and playing style.
A great rule of thumb? Match your opponent’s level, but don’t insult them. Keep it competitive without being overpowering or patronizing.
- In casual rec play? Dial it down just enough to keep the game fun.
- In a tournament or competitive match? No mercy. Go all out.
- Playing with a beginner? Help them learn, but don’t baby them.
- Playing with an advanced player? Step up and embrace the challenge.
If you’re unsure, just ask. Some players want the challenge, others want a fun back-and-forth game. Communication is key.
Final Takeaway: Play with Respect
Soft playing can be a great way to keep games fun and competitive—as long as it’s done with the right attitude. If you’re the better player, adjust your game in a way that challenges your opponent without making them feel small. If you’re the weaker player, use the opportunity to learn and grow.
At the end of the day, we all play pickleball for the same reasons: to have fun, improve, and enjoy the game. Whether you’re soft playing or going full throttle, the key is respect—for your opponent, for the game, and for the experience.
Now, grab your paddle and get out there—just don’t smirk while you dink. 😉
