There’s nothing more adorable than a couple in matching pickleball outfits—unless, of course, you watched them 10 minutes ago at court 3 arguing over who missed the third shot drop.
Welcome to the world of pickleball couples, where love meets lobs and “I got it!” can quickly turn into “You always do this!”
If you’ve ever wondered whether playing pickleball with your significant other is a bonding opportunity or a fast track to couples therapy—this one’s for you.
Should You Even Be Playing Pickleball with Your Spouse?
Short answer: maybe.
Longer answer: it depends on how much you like winning, how much they like being told what to do, and whether you have a therapist on speed dial.
Let’s get real—pickleball is fun, fast, and occasionally fierce. And if your idea of date night includes strategy, sweat, and the possibility of screaming “YOURS!” at your life partner…you need a game plan.
Know Thyself (And Thy Partner)
Before stepping on the court together, figure out who you both are as players:
- Are you ultra-competitive and secretly believe rec play is just disguised tournament practice?
- Is your partner there for a “light workout and laughs”?
If you’re not aligned, there’s a real risk of post-game tension (and we’re not talking about your calf muscles).
Best Practice: Have an honest pre-game convo about goals. “Are we here to win or just not yell at each other?”—a very valid question.
Align Expectations—Or Strategically Separate
If your skill levels or competitive drives are wildly different, you have options:
Option A: Play Together—But in the Right Setting
Stick to:
- Open play
- Social mixers
- Clinics or beginner leagues
- Non-bracketed rec nights
These environments take the pressure off and give you a safe space to miscommunicate a lob without it turning into a full-blown feud.
Option B: Play Separately—Strategically
Let one partner hit their competitive fix in advanced leagues or tournaments, while the other enjoys more relaxed games. Then come back together when the vibe’s more fun and forgiving.
One seasoned player summed it up best:
“I compete without her, so I can just enjoy being with her when we play together.”
Lessons from the Experts: In a Pickle (Literally)
Authors Dr. Stormy Hill and Teri Citterman—therapists and co-authors of In A Pickle: How to Master Love and Pickleball and Not Kill Each Other—literally wrote the book on this.
“The pickleball court is a microcosm of your relationship,” says Hill. “It will show you exactly how you communicate, support, or critique one another.”
Translation? If you’re snippy, impatient, or unwilling to let your partner take a shot—pickleball will surface that real quick.
Pro Tips for Pickleballing as a Couple
1. Take Lessons Together
This is the best way to get a neutral, skill-building foundation. A good coach can address:
- Who should take the middle balls
- How to call shots clearly (without snapping)
- What your partner actually means when they yell “YOURS!” three beats too late
Think of it as couples counseling with a paddle.
2. Match Your Roles to Your Strengths
Treat your doubles game like a team sport (because it is).
- Who’s better at overheads?
- Who has the steadier hand at the net?
- Who should initiate third shot drops, and who should clean up the pop-ups?
Don’t assume equality means symmetry. Great partnerships work because they’re complementary, not identical.
3. Use Paddle Taps as Love Language
- Miss a shot? Tap paddles.
- Hit a winner? Tap paddles.
- Completely forget the score, argue about it, and realize you were both wrong? Tap paddles.
It’s silly, but those little rituals reinforce connection—and re-set the tone when things get tense.
4. Control the Critique
Nothing will tank your partner’s confidence faster than mid-game micromanagement. Remember:
- You are not their coach (unless you are, but even then… tread lightly).
- Focus on your game first.
- Save constructive feedback for post-match discussion, not after a missed dink in front of 12 people.
Instead of “You missed that again,” try “Let’s reset on those next time.” It goes a long way.
5. Use Gear to Build Unity (Not Resentment)
If you’re investing in gear, do it together:
- Demo paddles together
- Buy coordinated bags or matching accessories
- Heck, go full “his and hers” with outfits if that’s your vibe
It makes you feel like a team before you even step on the court—and sometimes, that mental unity makes all the difference.
Mental Game: Stay Patient, Stay Playful
Playing with your significant other can trigger a whole mix of emotions:
- Wanting to impress them
- Wanting to correct them
- Wanting to strangle them (kidding… sort of)
But if you approach the game with curiosity, grace, and humor, you’ll build something stronger than a winning record—you’ll build resilience together.
Practice this mindset:
- Mistakes are normal
- Laughter is strategy
- Winning is a bonus, not the goal
❤️ So… Can You Make It Work?
Absolutely. But it takes intention.
Here’s the truth: even if you’re a 3.5 and they’re a 2.5 (or you’re Serena and they’re still learning the scoring system), you can play together happily. Just shift your mindset:
- Play for fun, not ego.
- Communicate like teammates, not like a couple arguing over what to eat.
- Laugh. A lot.
If you manage that, you’ll walk off the court stronger than you walked on—not just in your game, but in your relationship.
And hey, if it still doesn’t work?
There’s always mixed doubles with your friend Steve. Or…maybe just grab beers and watch PickleballTV from the couch.
