Playing Pickleball Doubles with Your SO: Good Idea?

Ever thought playing doubles with your significant other would be a breeze, only to find it can be a bit of a storm?

Here are some hilarious and relatable insights and advice tips from fellow pickleball players who’ve been there, done that, and maybe even got the T-shirt.

1. The Annoyance Factor

Issue: It’s surprisingly easy to get annoyed over small things that wouldn’t bother you if you were playing with anyone else.

I really enjoy playing with my wife, but I find myself getting irritated over little things that wouldn’t even bother me with other partners.

Intermediate rec player

Tip: Set clear expectations and remind yourself that it’s just a game. The key here is to keep your cool and remember why you’re playing together in the first place – to have fun!

2. The Critique Conundrum

Issue: Offering feedback to your partner can feel like walking through a minefield. Critiquing your partner can easily be taken personally, which can escalate tensions. One player humorously noted, “Any critique is taken as an affront to our character and entire existence😂”

Tip: Stick to positive reinforcement. Use phrases like “Great shot,” “Nice try,” and “My fault.” This helps keep the mood light and avoids unnecessary conflicts.

3. Unsolicited Advice

Issue: Offering unsolicited advice can cause friction, no matter how well-intentioned it might be. “Never give your significant other advice they didn’t ask for. Seriously, take my word for it,” a seasoned player advised.

Tip: Avoid giving advice unless asked. If your partner seeks your input, keep it constructive and supportive.

4. Tactical Troubles

Issue: Tactical advice from an SO might not be well-received, and can sometimes make things worse. One player shared, “I handle tactical advice better from other partners, not my husband. He gets this and steers clear of coaching me during the game.”

Tip: Understand how your partner likes to receive feedback. If they’re not open to tactical advice during the game, save it for a post-match discussion.

5. Skill Gaps

Issue: Differences in skill levels can create tension and frustration. “My wife is a 5.0 and I’m a 4.0, but when we play together, we end up looking like 2.5 players. It just doesn’t work because we’re too worried about upsetting each other,” noted one player.

Tip: Manage expectations and focus on having fun. Accept that you might not play your best when you’re together, and that’s okay. Instead of stressing over mistakes, highlight each other’s strengths. Is your partner great at net play? Let them shine there. Are you better at baseline shots? Take control in that area.

6. Communication Breakdowns

Issue: Poor on-court communication can lead to mistakes and misunderstandings. One couple found that their on-court communication is actually better than their off-court communication after working hard to sync and communicate their game strategy all the time.

Tip: Enhance your communication skills and set clear expectations. Here are some specific strategies to help:

1. Pre-Match Discussion: Before you start playing, talk about your game plan. Discuss who will take what shots, how you’ll handle lobs, and your positioning strategy.
2. Use Simple Signals: Develop simple, non-verbal signals to indicate who will take the shot or where you plan to move. This can help avoid confusion during fast-paced points.
3. Stay Positive: Keep your communication upbeat. Instead of pointing out mistakes, focus on encouragement and what you can do better next time.
4. Real-Time Updates: During the match, give quick updates like “I’ve got this” or “Switch” to ensure you’re on the same page.
5. Post-Match Review: After the game, review what worked and what didn’t. This can help improve your teamwork for future matches.

7. Pressure to Perform

Issue: There’s an added pressure from wanting to impress your SO, which can mess with your game. One player shared, “I have to remind myself to dial back my expectations and not get too competitive when I’m playing with my wife.”

Tip: Shift your focus to having fun and enjoying the moment. Instead of worrying about impressing your partner, appreciate the chance to play together. Compliment their good shots and laugh off the mistakes. Remember, it’s more about building a stronger connection than scoring points.

8. Competitive Nature

Issue: Getting too competitive can lead to arguments and hurt feelings, making the game more stressful than fun. One player shared, “We found that joking around and having a laugh before matches made a huge difference. It kept us both relaxed and in good spirits on the court.”

Tip: Keep your competitive side in check by setting some ground rules. Agree to avoid criticizing each other’s mistakes. Take a few minutes before the match to lighten the mood. If things start getting too intense during the game, take a quick timeout to regroup and remind yourselves that it’s all about having fun together.

9. Emotional Reactions

Issue: Taking game-related frustrations personally can turn a fun activity into a stressful one. “We decided that we wouldn’t apologize for mistakes and would focus on staying positive instead,” suggested a successful doubles player.

Tip: Set a rule to share any fault or lost points equally, no matter who made the mistake. Instead of pointing fingers, encourage each other and agree that every point lost is a team effort.

Breaking Up on the Court: How to Handle It Nicely

So, you’ve tried everything and still can’t make it work on the court with your significant other? No worries, it happens!

Here’s how to gracefully bow out without causing a relationship rift:

1. Be Honest but Kind: Start with a gentle conversation. Say something like, “Hey, I’ve been thinking about our games, and I feel like we’re both not having as much fun as we should be.”
2. Focus on the Positive: Highlight what you enjoy about playing with them, but gently suggest trying something new. “I love playing with you, but I think we might enjoy it more if we played with different partners occasionally.”
3. Suggest Alternatives: Propose playing singles or joining different doubles groups to mix things up. “How about we join different doubles groups for a bit and see how it goes? We can always practice together at home.”

It’s all about making sure you both continue to enjoy the sport without any added stress!

Doubles Partners in Life, Singles on the Court

Sharing a love for pickleball is a fantastic way to spend quality time together, but it shouldn’t come at the expense of your relationship.

If playing together works for you, that’s awesome! Keep having fun and cherishing those moments on the court. But if it doesn’t quite click, it’s perfectly okay to switch partners. You can still enjoy sharing stories, laughs, and conversations about your pickleball adventures.

Now, go out there and serve up some love!

The featured image is courtesy of pickleballpopups.com.