You love playing pickleball. You’ve been improving steadily and maybe even playing a few days a week. Then one morning you find yourself paired with someone who’s clearly better. Their footwork is sharper, their dinks are deadlier, and their paddle might cost more than your first car.
Now you’re wondering: “What do I say? What do I do? How do I not look like a total beginner?”
First: breathe. Playing with a stronger partner doesn’t have to be stressful. In fact, it can be one of the best ways to level up—if you approach it the right way.
1. Adopt the Right Mindset
In pickleball, you’re not just playing for medals or rankings. You’re playing for fitness, connection, and fun. But that doesn’t mean you can’t grow. In fact, one of the fastest ways to improve is by playing with (and against) stronger players.
So instead of thinking “I don’t want to hold them back,” flip the script:
“I get to learn from them today. Let’s see how much I can absorb.”
Stronger players aren’t expecting perfection. What they do value is a partner who hustles, communicates, and keeps their cool. Coaches often say the best teammate isn’t the flashiest—it’s the one who brings consistent effort and a growth mindset.
And if you’re playing 2–4 times a week, chances are you’re not far off from closing the gap—but only if you lean into the experience and reflect on what you’re learning.
2. Communicate Early and Often
One of the most common frustrations for stronger players is a silent partner. If you’re unsure who should take the ball, say so. If your partner is poaching aggressively, talk it through. If you’re struggling with their pace, mention it respectfully.
Try lines like:
- “Let me know if I’m getting in your way too much.”
- “They keep going for the lob—want to switch next time?”
Communication builds chemistry. And chemistry—especially in rec play—is often more valuable than raw skill.
3. Ditch the Constant Apologies
Over-apologizing is one of the quickest ways to create tension. Sports psychologists often recommend replacing apologies with constructive phrases that keep you in a solution-focused mindset:
- “Next one’s mine.”
- “I saw it late—I’ll be ready next time.”
Veteran players say it best: “We don’t want sorry. We want engaged.”
Strong partners know you’ll miss. What they don’t want is a teammate who checks out emotionally after a couple flubs.
4. Play High-Percentage Pickleball
If you’re in the 40–60 age range, chances are you’re balancing ambition with physical awareness. Instead of forcing highlight-reel winners, focus on what smart pickleball looks like:
- Aim for 80% effort instead of hero shots
- Hit your returns deep and with margin
- Reset instead of re-attack when off-balance
- Play soft dinks instead of fancy ones
“We don’t need you to do everything,” said one 4.5-rated player. “We just need you to not beat yourself.”
5. Let Them Shine—But Don’t Disappear
There’s a difference between letting your stronger partner take the lead and becoming a ghost on the court.
Great partners contribute in smart ways:
- Keep rallies going
- Hit consistent shots
- Be in position
- Stay mentally present
Let them poach when they see the opening. But make sure you’re doing your job so they can trust you to handle yours. One coach calls it “being dependable without being invisible.”
6. Be Open to Feedback—But Don’t Demand Coaching
Some stronger partners love giving tips. Others prefer to keep things fun and light.
Instead of asking mid-match, say this afterward:
“You had great control out there—mind if I ask one thing I could work on?”
If they offer advice, take it seriously. If not, don’t be discouraged. Just being on the court with them is already helping you absorb better habits.
7. Control the Inner Spiral
This is huge.
Many players have deeply ingrained perfectionist tendencies. So when we make a couple mistakes in front of someone better, our minds start spinning:
- “I’m dragging them down.”
- “They’re probably annoyed.”
- “Why can’t I just make a simple shot?”
Hit pause.
Take a breath. Paddle tap. Reset.
“The best partners I’ve ever had were the ones who stayed calm—even when things weren’t going their way,” one competitive player said. “That energy is powerful.”
Your confidence feeds theirs.
8. Say Thank You—and Mean It
At the end of the game, whether you won, got smoked, or went 11–9 in a nail-biter, say something like:
- “That was awesome—thanks for playing with me.”
- “I learned a ton just watching how you moved up at the net.”
Gratitude = invitation for next time. And yes, stronger players do remember who they enjoy playing with.
Bonus Tip: Watch, Don’t Just Play
When you’re paired with a strong player, treat it like a private lesson in motion. Watch how they position, how they hit, and especially how they recover after each shot.
Learning through observation is powerful—just don’t forget to also hold your own.
Be the Partner You’d Want
Whether you’re a 3.0 playing with a 4.0, or just the less experienced player in the pairing, remember: it’s not about being perfect.
It’s about being present.
Bring a good attitude, communicate like a teammate, and focus on smart, high-percentage play. That’s how you earn trust, improve your game, and make sure that next time the board’s up, people are hoping to get you as their partner.
